You're not lazy - you're burning out.
An overthinker's guide to burnout PART 1: How to spot the signs
It’s that time of year again, when spare time is swallowed by revision and sleep is replaced by tossing, turning and wondering if you’re doing enough.
Yep, it’s exam season.
But exams aren’t just for teenagers. More than 800,000 adults in the UK are enrolled in a course this academic year. I’m one of them, currently preparing for my Level 3 British Sign Language exams.
For adult learners, studying is layered on top of everything else; work, caregiving, responsibilities and the relentless hum of self-doubt. There’s no school bell to say, “You’re done for the day”. You’re likely studying in snatched pockets of time, carrying the weight of your ambitions, your fears and your responsibilities all at once.
No wonder you’re tired.
When stress becomes something more
Some level of stress in life is normal and sometimes it can even be helpful, but it’s important to notice when that pressure starts tipping into something heavier.
If you're feeling exhausted, foggy, distracted, defeated or like your brain is juggling too many open tabs…
You might not just be stressed….
You might be burned out.
This season can be demanding and adult learners often slip through the cracks when it comes to support and recognition. There are fewer check-ins, fewer built-in breaks, and often a lot more juggling. I just want to say: I see you too.
What burnout really looks like
We often associate burnout with dramatic breakdowns or total exhaustion. But in reality, it’s often much quieter and much more gradual.
For many perfectionists, overthinkers and high-achievers, burnout hides in plain sight, disguising itself as productivity, ambition or simply “just being busy.”
Here are some of the common signs that you might be heading toward burnout or that you’re already in it:
Your brain’s like a fog machine. You just can’t focus.
Feeling snappy, teary, flat or maybe even weirdly numb to it all?
Sleep is patchy or none existent.
You finding yourself constantly snacking or forgetting to eat at all.
Swinging between “I must do it all” and “What’s the point?”
You’re stuck in a loop: procrastination → guilt → procrastination again.
A deep need for rest… but a big does of guilt when you take it.
Sound familiar? These aren’t personal failings. These are human responses to prolonged stress and potential signs of burnout in disguise.
Burnout doesn’t always look like collapse.
Sometimes it looks like keeping going, running on empty.
It’s not laziness.
It’s not failure.
It’s your nervous system crying out for some breathing space.
Which stage of burnout are you in?
Burnout isn’t a single event. It’s a progression - often slow, often invisible and creeps up over time. Psychologists Herbert Freudenberger and Gail North developed a model that breaks it down into 12 progressive stages. These stages help make sense of what can otherwise feel like a confusing blur of “I’m not coping”.
Not everyone moves through the stages in order, but many people will recognise elements of their own experience somewhere along the way.
I love using this model in therapy, especially with people-pleasers and overthinkers who downplay their emotions and experience by saying things like:
“it’s not that bad” or “it could be worse”.
But when we map their experiences onto this framework more often than not, we find they’re already somewhere around stage 7 or beyond.
I’m not sharing this to alarm you - I’m sharing this to validate you.
If you're struggling to focus, snapping at loved ones, feeling unlike yourself or simply so tired all the time… it may be more than stress.
It may be your nervous system waving a red flag, asking for care not criticism and definitely not to do more.
So, where are you in this? Ask yourself:
Which of these stages feel familiar right now?
Which ones have I passed through in the past few months?
In an ideal world, what needs to happen to prevent further burnout?
Burnout isn’t a failure, it’s feedback. And recognising it, is a powerful first step back toward balance.
Your Burnout First Aid Kit
Once you’ve recognised where you are in the cycle, the next step isn’t to overhaul your life. That can deepen the exhaustion.
What you need instead, is a place to begin. Here are four gentle starting points:
🧭 1. Start small. Really small.
When your energy is low, even simple tasks can feel enormous. Choose one gentle, achievable action today:
Drink a full glass of water
Step outside for two minutes
Put your phone in another room while you rest
Tiny actions compound and they remind your body and mind that you're worth looking after.
🌱 2. Reintroduce rest, without guilt
Rest isn't something you earn. It's something you need.
And it doesn't have to mean doing nothing. Try:
Listening to soft music with your eyes closed
Lying down with a hand on your chest and one on your belly
Ten deep breaths between tasks, without multitasking
You don’t have to wait until you’ve finished everything to rest.
📓 3. Get curious, not critical
Self-reflection can be a powerful antidote to burnout when approached gently. Try asking:
What’s draining me right now?
What do I wish someone would say to me?
What would I do if I gave myself permission to slow down?
There’s no need to answer perfectly. Just start noticing.
🧩 4. Reconnect with something that feels like you
Burnout can disconnect us from our sense of self. See if there’s a small way you can return to something that feels nourishing or creative:
Doodling or journaling
Listening to a podcast you love
Tending to your houseplants or spending time in your garden.
The aim here isn’t productivity, it’s presence.
Burnout often feels invisible but it lives in the moments you keep pushing through.
In summary
Burnout might show up as overthinking, numbness, people-pleasing or frustration you don’t understand. It might feel like guilt, fatigue or fog that no amount of sleep seems to fix.
But naming it? That’s a radical act of self-care.
You don’t have to have all the answers. Just begin where you are - with reflection, honesty and one small act of self-kindness.
And one more time, for those at the back:
Burnout isn’t a sign that you’ve failed.
It’s a signal that something needs to shift.
Coming in Part 2:
We’ll explore what fuels burnout, beyond just doing too much.
From educational trauma and perfectionism, to capitalism, unrealistic expectations, and disconnected values. We’ll look at how burnout becomes wired into your system and how to start unpicking it.
Until then, take what you need. Leave what you don’t.
And know that you're not in this alone.
Wishing you a restful weekend,
Amy x
Hi I’m Amy! Seasons Change is a kind and curious place for overwhelmed, overthinkers & perfectionists to slow down, reconnect, create and get curious. Here, we weave therapeutic insight and creativity with slow and seasonal living, to build self-trust and self-compassion for a calmer, more fulfilled life!